“Girl, why are you still ANGRY about something that happened two years ago?”
For me, the obvious reason is one has not forgiven their wrong doer.
This is the question I would ask my ‘sisters’ and ‘brothers’ when we continue to hold hard feelings towards our pass aggressors. You know, the one who wouldn’t loan us the 200 hundred dollars, or the one who was talking with someone we were ANGRY at; or any other silly a** reasons we become unforgiving.
Not being able to forgive is a horrible and bitter GENERATIONAL CYCLE for one to consume. This state of mind doesn’t hurt anyone except for the one doing the unforgiving. This state of mind causes the unforgiving to become bitter, cold, and angry to name a few emotions. This cycle can cause a type of unnecessary festering of wounds, new and old wounds which are never allowed to heal. Un-forgiveness allows the victim to constantly have reasons to hold on (in their mind, to victimization) on to others and sometime our own actions from the past, sort of like a crutch. We can never be the better person while holding a clutch.
And yes, this too is a GENERATIONAL CYCLE.
This type of person needs some serious self-awareness and self-evaluation.
I say, “we should get over ourselves”! Do we think the person we are begrudging is thinking about us, and our feelings? Well, the answer is NO!
We have to come to a consensus that we are in control of our own lives, and must at some point seek our own meaning of life, while being able to care for ourselves. This means: physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Until we can take time, sit back, and meditate ON OUR LIVES, and what is causing particular actions to take place, we will always have clutter, and unresolved issues.
Alone time with oneself allows one to hear his, or her thoughts. To listen to that voice inside. Something that cannot be accomplished in entirety when there is outside noise, or distractions. We know when we are an UNFORGIVING people possessing the “unforgiving spirit”, as I call it. No one should have to point that flaw out to us. If we are HONEST with ourselves, we will acknowledge it.
In turn, RECOGNIZING, ACKNOWLEDGING AND RESOLVING is the first steps to doing so…
In fact, for myself I decided long ago; I, and only I, have the responsibility of changing my thoughts; while acknowledging and becoming mindful, and recognizing my emotions, and feelings towards people and things. I had to OPEN MY EYES to RECOGONIZE, ACKNOWLEDGE, and RESOLVE my own emotions in an effort to be a better person. I know this is a cliché”, but I am still a work in progress.
Taking these steps require constant self-awareness, as well as discipline, but that is exactly the purpose of changing our actions, negative attitudes, and whole disposition towards others.
This spirit of UNFORGIVENESS, noted as a dysfunctional CYCLE or SPIRITUAL BONDAGE, can be another cycle passed down from one generation to the next generation.
With practice we can all change to become better people, who have better families, better understanding, better relationships and live better lives.